Words from a Father

Husband of One, Father of Four

Tag: relationship

502. The Enemy of Your Marriage

Treat anything that attempts to separate you from your spouse as a great enemy. Defend your marriage, disclose the situation to your spouse, strengthen the bond between you, and declare your trust, affection, and faithfulness to your spouse right to the enemy’s face. Stop them in their tracks and let nothing come between you. Fierce love protects fiercely and trusts fully.

495. Quote: Arthur Schopenhauer on Money

“Money is human happiness in the abstract; he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes himself utterly to money.”

—Arthur Schopenhauer

492. Crazy

The media rewards crazy. Real life hates it.

491. Dignity

Reject any group that abuses your dignity.

488. Balanced Life

Be conservative in theology, but liberal in communication, relationship, and service.

486. Siblings Forever

We’re your parents and we’ll fight for you, but your siblings will be your closest and most faithful comrades throughout life if you let them. Nurture trust in that relationship and encourage each other often. Go to bat for each other. The investment is well worth the return for a forever friend.

485. Get To Know

You can’t get to know each other in a dark theater.

484. Comfortable Distance

Impropriety can masquerade in friendly clothes. Be friendly to your spouse’s friends, but keep a safe, appropriate distance, and always tell your spouse of any advances by another. It may feel awkward for a moment, but it is never something to hide. Your loyalty is always first to your spouse.

482. Essay: Valuable Forgiveness

When someone hurts you, forgiveness is the only way forward. Not primarily for them, but for yourself.

The depth of the hurt correlates to the level of value given to the relationship and the amount of expectation the individuals have. The closer the relationship and higher the expectation, the deeper the hurt. This makes restoring the relationship that much more meaningful and necessary, and therefore difficult.

Any repentance and forgiveness that was quick, easy, or painless shows the shallow level of relationship and its low expectations. A repentance and forgiveness worthy of the relationship is costly and not easy at all, but it is worth it.

Don’t confuse the desire for a repaired relationship with the amount of time it takes to bring it about. The two are related, but not dependent. It may seem to happen quickly in some circumstances and slowly in others, without regard for the desire. I have a feeling that it takes longer than we initially realize; we can see it clearer when we look back upon the process. The important thing is to keep moving forward as much as it is up to you.

I’ve written a bit more about conceptual thoughts on forgiveness in this prior essay:

https://jfjudah.wordpress.com/2011/04/19/362-axiomatic-things/

476. Fight

We are prone to apathy. Fight it with all you can muster.

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