Words from a Father

Husband of One, Father of Four

Tag: courtesy

474. Essay: Clearer Lines

For my drawing class I opted to draw the skeletons and the marble and plastic models rather than the nude model. I was prepared and more than willing to deal with the mockery and questions inevitably hurled my way from those steeped in a culture that no longer understands the concepts of restraint, dignity, and art. Here’s why.

Restraint

I believe it’s important to have boundaries for what you will and will not do. More important is knowing why you make those choices. For me, I don’t need to know intimately about any other woman than my wife. In fact, I doubt seriously that any marriage has been bettered by knowing more about another of the opposite gender than about their spouse. That’s how marriages are ended, not strengthened.

Dignity

I believe humans have immeasurable worth, both as individuals and as a distinct category of being.

Art

I believe art should reveal us to ourselves and invite us into the greater concepts to which we aspire: love, justice, mercy, truth, wonder, peace, selflessness. The greatest instances in the arts do not abandon us in the story at the height of displaying our selfishness, violence, or sensuality. They do not pursue those things for their sake alone, but neither do they erase all ambiguity, irony, and subtlety.

It takes precisely no talent to show a murder or nudity, but significantly more to hint at it without ever showing it in frame. (This is also how mystery and drama are well incorporated.) Even a cursory survey of seminal works reveals how the arts’ great pursuit is for the true, the good, and the beautiful.

I did not draw the nude model because that aspect of the assignment — the nudity itself — failed on multiple levels: it would not have brought me closer to truth, goodness, and beauty; it would not have revealed me to myself or invited me to “the aspirational perfections”; it would not have dignified the model, the medium, or myself; it would have short circuited my pursuit of artistic excellence; and it would have violated the boundaries and freedoms I now enjoy.

Clearer Lines

G.K. Chesterton said, “Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.” I would add that whenever art and morality intersect, those lines should be even clearer.

453. Don’t Ask

Son, don’t ask a woman if she is pregnant, ask your wife if she is.

448. Philosophy Wasted

Do not bring philosophy to a broken heart or it will leak right through the cracks. Instead, bring love, a willingness to listen, and the time it takes to comfort.

431. Door

Hold the door.

427. Good Versus Right

Parenting well is not about being right, but about being good. For instance, being right in a family disagreement — or any type of disagreement — is far less important than being charitable, upright, and true with those involved.

414. Movie Manners

Enjoy it in the theater. Be the commentator at home.

413. Taking Time

You can take your time when it is truly yours, not when it involves others.

412. Speed Limit

The speed limit is there so you can go it.

394. Tickets

It’s simple. Right section, right row, right seat number.

389. Confidence

A firm handshake and straight answers should say enough.

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