Words from a Father

Husband of One, Father of Four

Tag: change

508. Reputation

Don’t let short-term choices ruin your long-term reputation.

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433. Change

Give kids your change.

419. Knowledge Fails

The old joke goes like this. A communist says he can put a new suit on that man. Christianity says it can put a new man in that suit.

We have access to more knowledge, experience, history, culture, research, philosophy, political stances, art, and plain old information than ever before in time. Yet we are no better for it. It is past time to admit that information and access have failed to produce better people, as was hoped by the likes of Marcus Aurelius and others. Neither external forces nor accessibility can ever change a person within. Permanent and positive change begins only inside the human being, and that is precisely what Christianity — and no other religion or philosophy or political stance — promises.

408. Essay: One Shot

I only have one shot at raising you kids, only one chance to parent you. This time right now is never replayed — we can’t record it, rewind it, download it, or check out the source code of this time with you, and then change it in either my memory or yours. One shot and then it’s done.

I will father you for a little while and then you’ll go through a long transition where you begin to take real ownership of your decisions, become your own person, forge your own identity. That is when our relationship will change . . . you will decide to continue to be fathered by me or not. A lot of that will depend on how I have done until that point. It will depend on how I have stewarded our relationship thus far.

This transition will bring a new aspect into the parent–child relationship: friendship. You will move from being “just the kid” to being so much more. It will be friendship based on history and trust and lots more things I don’t understand. It’ll be a brand new era. But the decision you will someday make starts with the hour-by-hour interactions we have now, with the way I make you feel when you’re around me and how you feel when we’re apart.

I only get one shot at it. So my philosophy is that, at any given point, I want you to feel love. Whether I’m feeding you, teaching you something new, disciplining you, playing hide and seek with you, dancing, singing, talking, or running around the house with you, I want you to feel love.

I only get one shot, so I’ll take my chances with love.

202. Change It Up

If you’re going to cover a song, you should change it up a bit, add your own flavor, or do it better than the original.

Two examples: “Single Ladies” by Beyonce, covered by Pomplamoose (video here) and “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson, covered by David Cook on American Idol.

190. Look Within

When you notice lack in someone else’s life, improve that same area in yourself first before you talk with them.

186. Choosing to Change is Normal

Just because something is labeled genetic does not mean it is good, correct, or normal. Many genetic things are targeted for change. The entire healthcare profession is predicated on this goal.

Choice and the free will are the wrenches in the gears of the nature-versus-nurture debate.

19. Real Help

Real help and lasting change don’t happen in a half-hour counseling show.

14. Progress

Do not change just for the sake of change, change for the sake of progress.

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