Words from a Father

Husband of One, Father of Four

Month: January, 2013

475. Quote: Your Dad on Humor and Restraint

“Humor in entertainment allows people to simultaneously show repulsion and acceptance in a socially acceptable way. If we laugh, even nervously, and see our neighbor laughing also, we convince ourselves that we are not all that bad; we are average. In this way humor is subversive to social and moral responsibility because we judge ourselves by ourselves. This subjective standard is the weakest of all barometers since it changes with the times and is not subject to any scrutiny, except a cultural backlash advocating higher morals. Sadly, history shows that those requesting higher moral standards are quickly silenced in the name of free expression. And that is perhaps the greatest irony: those advocating free expression work hardest to silence those expressing a desire for social self-restraint.”

—Your Dad, from an essay on the misrepresentation of women in media

474. Essay: Clearer Lines

For my drawing class I opted to draw the skeletons and the marble and plastic models rather than the nude model. I was prepared and more than willing to deal with the mockery and questions inevitably hurled my way from those steeped in a culture that no longer understands the concepts of restraint, dignity, and art. Here’s why.

Restraint

I believe it’s important to have boundaries for what you will and will not do. More important is knowing why you make those choices. For me, I don’t need to know intimately about any other woman than my wife. In fact, I doubt seriously that any marriage has been bettered by knowing more about another of the opposite gender than about their spouse. That’s how marriages are ended, not strengthened.

Dignity

I believe humans have immeasurable worth, both as individuals and as a distinct category of being.

Art

I believe art should reveal us to ourselves and invite us into the greater concepts to which we aspire: love, justice, mercy, truth, wonder, peace, selflessness. The greatest instances in the arts do not abandon us in the story at the height of displaying our selfishness, violence, or sensuality. They do not pursue those things for their sake alone, but neither do they erase all ambiguity, irony, and subtlety.

It takes precisely no talent to show a murder or nudity, but significantly more to hint at it without ever showing it in frame. (This is also how mystery and drama are well incorporated.) Even a cursory survey of seminal works reveals how the arts’ great pursuit is for the true, the good, and the beautiful.

I did not draw the nude model because that aspect of the assignment — the nudity itself — failed on multiple levels: it would not have brought me closer to truth, goodness, and beauty; it would not have revealed me to myself or invited me to “the aspirational perfections”; it would not have dignified the model, the medium, or myself; it would have short circuited my pursuit of artistic excellence; and it would have violated the boundaries and freedoms I now enjoy.

Clearer Lines

G.K. Chesterton said, “Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.” I would add that whenever art and morality intersect, those lines should be even clearer.

473. Divide

If you’re splitting something, one should divide and the other choose. Here’s the secret: If the item is a perfect square, rectangle, or other polygon, cut it diagonally.

472. Desire

Desire to do something does not equal the permission to do it. Desire is not justification for anything.

471. Living

Lack of hunger is one of the first signs of death. This is true of physical health, business, life passion, education, personal disciplines, and many other categories.

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