357. Essay: The Role of Manhood (Initiating and Cultivating the Spark)

by jfjudah

The guy is responsible for cultivating the spark. Shy and awkward or not, if the girl is that important to him, he’ll do it. If she’s not, he won’t. This is the bottom line.

Example: How many times have you looked at a married person — that you would call a loser or a dork — and thought, “How in the world did they pull that off? Of all people, how did they get married?” Well, even though they are a dork, they pulled it off by having enough of a spine to get things rolling. The other person was that important to them.

Another example: When a man initiates it’s called romance, but when a woman initiates, what’s the main description we think of? Is it manipulation, pushy, desperate, needy? Whatever it is, it’s certainly not called romance, and we see a clue to the truth of relationships in this perspective. Women don’t want to be the architect, they want to be the one who gets swept away. Conversely, men don’t want to get swept away by a woman; there’s not the same honor in that as there is in pursuing her and winning her heart.

Another: I have yet to hear a love story that ends well when it starts with, “I made sure all our classes were together; I sent him gifts; I asked for his phone number; I guess I finally wore him down enough. Next thing we knew, I asked him to marry me.”

I don’t know of any female who hopes to someday be second place — especially to a man without the guts to set and keep his priorities straight, and to stand against those who would try to get him to bend to their idea of “what he should do,” be it work, hobbies, or what have you. If he’s not strong enough to initiate the relationship, he won’t be strong enough to keep you first through the stresses of life.

Second place in a relationship is lame, daughter. And you don’t want to be on the receiving end of lameness.

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