Words from a Father

Husband of One, Father of Four

Month: February, 2011

349. Truth Plus

Speaking the truth without compassion, love, or grace is just being rude.

348. Train Good Habits

Obedience is doing what you’re told to do as soon as you are told to do it, with a happy heart.

Counting to three, or any other number, trains your child to disobey for as long as they can. By definition, this is not obedience. This is also not good parenting. Train your children to obey immediately and they will grow up obeying, many times out of simple habit. But train them to disobey as much as possible and they certainly will — many times out of simple habit.

347. The Impossible

God seems to accomplish the impossible every day, especially in nature. I’ve never heard of a bird having to make a crash landing.

346. The Big Bang

For all our advancements in astrophysics and technology, we simply do not understand the Big Bang. Whatever the details, they are difficult to distinguish from the biblical, “Let there be light . . . and so it was.”

345. Needed, Wanted

It is fine to be needed, best to be wanted.

344. Suggested Reading: Wild At Heart and Captivating

One of the books that most impacted me was Wild At Heart by John Eldredge, and eventually the companion book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.

The first is written to men, but is quite eye-opening for women as well. Its premise is that men seek three primary things: an adventure to live, a battle to fight and win, and a beauty to rescue. This is seen in movies, business ventures, sporting events, and the art forms we are surrounded by, as well as by the lives of men everywhere.

These are the things that motivate him so if one of these aspects is taken away from him, he will begin to fade. He may cover it up or ignore it as much as possible, but like a shell on the beach he will feel drained of all life. So use the thrill of the journey, the satisfation of success, or the mystique and transcendent nature of beauty to both your benefit, but never as manipulation. Hard work is a great opportunity, but a man whose heart is alive is better than a man who just works. This book resonated so deeply that I made reading it one of the things your mom had to do before we got married.

Captivating was released a few years later and balances the equation from the woman’s side, with the understanding that a woman always feels that she is “too much” and “never enough” simultaneously. A woman wants to be the beauty and be swept up into an adventure with her great love.

Do yourself the favor of not speeding through them just to check them off the list, though. It’s worth it.

343. Quotes: Steve Turner’s Poem, “Creed”

“Creed”

We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin.
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don’t hurt anyone
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.

We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy’s OK.
We believe that taboos are taboo.

We believe that everything’s getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated
And you can prove anything with evidence.

We believe there’s something in horoscopes, UFOs, and bent spoons.
Jesus was a good man, just like Buddha, Mohammed, and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher, though we think His good morals were bad.

We believe that all religions are basically the same — at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.

We believe that after death comes the Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then its
compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps
Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Kahn.

We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What’s selected is average.
What’s average is normal.
What’s normal is good.

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors.
And the Russians would be sure to follow.

We believe that man is essentially good.
It’s only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.

We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.

We believe in the rejection of creeds,
And the flowering of individual thought.

If chance be the Father of all flesh,
disaster is his rainbow in the sky
and when you hear

State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Whites go Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!
It is but the sound of man
worshipping his maker.

—Steve Turner’s (English journalist) satirical poem on the modern mind

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