Words from a Father

Husband of One, Father of Four

Tag: faithfulness

502. The Enemy of Your Marriage

Treat anything that attempts to separate you from your spouse as a great enemy. Defend your marriage, disclose the situation to your spouse, strengthen the bond between you, and declare your trust, affection, and faithfulness to the enemy. Stop them in their tracks and let nothing come between you. Fierce love protects fiercely and trusts fully.

486. Siblings Forever

We’re your parents and we’ll fight for you, but your siblings will be your closest and most faithful comrades throughout life if you let them. Nurture trust in that relationship and encourage each other often. Go to bat for each other. The investment is well worth the return for a forever friend.

484. Comfortable Distance

Impropriety can masquerade in friendly clothes. Be friendly to your spouse’s friends, but keep a safe, appropriate distance, and always tell your spouse of any advances by another. It may feel awkward for a moment, but it is never something to hide. Your loyalty is always first to your spouse.

466. Without Reservation

Love and serve your spouse without reservation. Anything less will be sensed and resented.

463. Don’t Answer

Son, never answer any question that begins with, “If you were on a deserted island and you knew you’d never see me again . . .”

It is always a trap.

In fact, never answer hypothetical questions.

440. Well Spent

You should spend more time taming your tongue than taming your hair; more time training your thoughts than training with weights; more time taking in ideas than spelling out your own; more time seeking truth than gathering verbal ammunition; more time investing in others than seeking your fame; more time arguing for justice than arguing your case.

416. Marriage

Those fools who say marriage is just a piece of paper are the same ones who selfishly insist that everything in life is meaningless except for what they want.

368. We

The way your married friends use we versus I will tell you everything about how they view their partnership and how invested they are.

And don’t believe a guy who says he can’t use we. He sure does for his favorite team.

342. Essay: Relationship Decisions

Work on you, don’t concern yourself with your future spouse. Worrying about your future spouse is an appealing obsession, about as healthy and lasting as cotton candy on the tongue.

Daughter, it seems to me that it’s not a woman’s job to chase down a man because that short-circuits the maturation process he so desperately needs if he is to be the rock you will need him to be. A spouse is to be strong when the other is worn down. But a man needs to have his own spine rather than have it supplied by someone else.

Son, the opposite point is true as well. It’s not a man’s job to make a woman respond to him or to fall in love with him. She should decide within her own heart, make up her own mind, be certain of her own accord.

If these two necessary parts are short-circuited, some day down the road when things are bad, challenging, tense, or unsure, the one who had their mind decided for them by someone else will almost certainly walk away. But when they think back to the moment of decision, if they made it on their own, more often than not it will bring them to the same decision as they originally had — of faithfulness and loyalty and love.

In matters of the heart, truncated free will eviscerates the value of the relationship. Forced love is empty. Having your mind decided for you is worthless. And worrying about who they are or someday could be is even worse.

314. Time and Effort

The younger generation always wants in a few years what has taken the older generation many decades to cultivate.

Microwaves only work for food; everything else takes the same amount of energy, but requires more time.

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